How to Keep the Spark Alive in a Relationship

It’s no secret that I’ve been in a relationship for a VERY long time. I mean… FOREVER. I met my husband when I was 13 years old and I knew from the moment we met that he was going to hold a very special place in my heart. We started officially dating when I was 15 years old and he was 18. We were in a long distance relationship for the first 2 years until I graduated high school and I moved down to where he lived, to go to college.  We’ve been married for (almost) 3 years now and jeeeeeeezzz, so many things have changed over the years! We’ve grown up together, learned hard lessons together, but most importantly… we’ve never given up on each other.

Sure, there were some periods where we became complacent and comfortable. We weren’t giving each other enough quality time. We weren’t putting much effort into our relationship because we were “stuck with each other” regardless. We probably wanted to strangle each other at some point. Just because you made vows to each other that you are going to be with someone for the rest of your life, DOESN’T mean you just stop putting in effort. That’s when your relationship starts to get rocky.

If you find yourself slacking in the romance department or find that you’re just not present with partner… keep reading. Relationships take WORK and if you want yours to last a lifetime, you better start finding out what makes your partner tick.

Here are some ways I have found that helps keep the fire burning (in no particular order):

  1. Learn and know each other’s Love Language
    • Learn how your partner receives and gives love, so you can express your love for them in the way they feel it the most and so you can understand how they express their love. This is SO important because oftentimes, we feel loved in different ways our partners show love
  2. Send cute text messages
    • These can be light and airy! It doesn’t have to be anything serious here! Vu and I can send each other memes and gifs all day long without holding a single conversation
  3. Place random love notes everywhere
    • I sometimes wake up with special “treats” in my drawers with a little love note on them
  4. If you see something that reminds you of them, buy it for them
    • My husband’s love language is gift giving so he is REALLY good at picking out gifts for me!
  5. Couples Coupons
    • We don’t really have an official “coupon” book that we keep, but we do exchange favors here and there
    • Vu is a total car freak and he lovessssss doing the maintenance on our vehicles. I can’t tell you the last time I’ve had to wash my own car (and I very seldom pump my own gas lol) and this isn’t because I’m a total princess or whatever! Vu does these things for me because he knows I freakin hate doing them and it sucks the life out of me. He does it for me because he knows it’s one little task that I don’t have to dread doing
  6. Regular date nights
    • Alright, I’ll admit we are totally slacking in this department. Most of our time is spent with family, but we do need to carve out more time for ourselves
    • Date nights don’t have to be dinner and a movie every time! It can be something light like a park picnic, Netflix and chill, or just chillin’ on the couch together. As long as it’s just you two, that’s all that qualifies the activity as a date!
  7. Experience new things together
    • Do something that you get an EXPERIENCE out of, not just gifts or souvenirs. Experiences show you how your partner reacts to certain situations or how they handle certain things. This can be very crucial in decision making for the future
  8. Travel together
    • Traveling is so much freakinnn fun! I wish we made more time to do this. You don’t even have to go far to ‘travel’ together. Maybe you can plan a drive out to the country to look at the bright shiny stars, or a nice little stay-cation at the indoor waterpark/hotel in town. It doesn’t have to be fancy!
  9. Flower/Cookie delivery just because
    • Flowers are nice and all, but cookies or edible arrangements are wayyyyyyyyyy nicer!! Brighten your partner’s day by sending a sweet little gift basket like, “hey, can’t wait to kiss you later.” These things go a long way! 

I’m obviously no relationship expert, but these are just some things that I have done to keep the spark alive in our relationship. It’s so easy to become complacent that we often forget that we NEED to show up for our partners if we want to have a powerful and strong relationship. I hope these tips help you out in any single way! Leave me a comment below if you have other tips for me.